OCD

In my research, (i.e. perusing the world wide web), I have made a discovery that makes so much sense to me. I don't even remember where I saw it at but it was like a revelation! I read that alot of times, kids who develope anorexia have also had OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)! HELLO!!! My kid has ALL kinds of OCDs! And that makes so much sense. This whole stupid thing practically screams OCD. She is totally obsessed with food, the numbers, she has a routine that she has to go through before she can eat anything, there are all of these "rules". In a way, it makes going through this a little easier for me. I couldn't tell you why, but I'll take anything at this point!

One day at a time

Today was a good day....I think. I'm pretty sure that Kylee ate 3 meals today which is an unbelievably good thing! She actually went into a resturant with me at lunch, something that she hasn't done since September. She didn't eat anything but she was there and that's a start. So, we got through today. Now we can move on to tomorrow. One day at a time....one day at a time......

Where I am, but don't want to be

When I decided to start this blog I was really excited about it even though I really didn't know what direction I intended for it to go. If you've read Tara Frey's book, "Blogging for Bliss", then you know that you should have a purpose for your blog. To be quite honest, I never really gave any thought to what "purpose" this blog should have....until now.

After many months of being in denial, I have finally admitted to myself that my middle daughter, Kylee, has anorexia, and with her permission I will be blogging about her illness and her recovery. I have tried to find other blogs by moms who have daughters suffering from this horrible condition but so far I haven't found any. There are numerous blogs out there by the girls themselves, so I know there are moms out there going through the same thing that I am. I just need an outlet and this is it, my little blog's purpose.

As a person who has spent her whole life on a diet and for probably 12 years had my own eating disorder, (I had bulimia all through high school and most of my first marriage), I have a hard time not blaming myself. But that's what we do as mothers, isn't it? We carry the blame and the guilt. It's hard not to. And it is so hard to watch your child wasting away. I can't kiss it and make it better or hold her til it goes away. Right now all I can do is pray for her, nag her to eat, deal with the insurance company and try, try, try to keep it together and keep my own sanity. So far, I am not doing so good on that last part.

So, we went to the doctor today to talk about the blood work she ordered a few weeks ago and to discuss the anti-depressant that she put Kylee on. The nurse weighed her and she weighed 94.2 pounds....down 3 pounds from a few weeks ago. Dr. J. talked to us about the test results and about what Kylee has been eating when she drops the bombshell on me that she didn't eat anything yesterday....not one single bite. This is devestating to me. My heart is broken.

This is where we are. I'm at a loss as to what to do next. We are in the process of getting her into therapy. I probably need therapy, too, who knows. But, I would really appreciate your prayers for my daughter....my beautiful, quirky, intelligent daughter. She is truly so much more than this eating disorder.

What have I been doing?

What have I been doing for the last 2 weeks? Obviously not blogging! I have been so busy! Between being really busy at my regular job at the salon, baking (ALOT), and the other normal life stuff, I have been reading Julie & Julia! Those of you who know me, know that I read in the bath tub. Well, I couldn't put it down! I read it in the tub, out of the tub, everywhere but work. Hilarious! I guess I liked it because I could relate to her determination to finish, her mental breakdowns in trying to do so, all of her diasters, and the major messes she made! I almost peed my pants when she had to kill the lobster! Now I need to see the movie!!

Another thing I missed during the last couple of weeks is the fact that I won my first bloggy award from my bloggy friend, Pam!





She's so sweet. And I feel very honored and special! Thank you, Pam!!!

1.) Thank and post URL to the blog that gave the award.

2.) Pass the award along to 6 brilliantly over the top blogs (blogs you love!) Alert them so they know to receive the award.



First, My middle daughter, Kylee. She is a really good writer! I learn something new about her everytime I read her blog. I am soo proud of her!

Jennifer over at Simpson Party of 5! is my cousin's wife and they have the most adorable kids!

Jen at MonkeyPosh, my friend IRL, lives in the Chicago area, travels like I wish I could, has awesome fashion sense, and is one of the funniest people I know!


Want some yummy recipes? Check out Cupcakes and Casseroles.

And last but not least my friend Melanie at Sweet223 . She just started a new business making candy buffets. So clever!

Yes, I know, I only did 5! What can I say? I'm feelin' a little lazy today! Seriously, it's almost 4pm and I am still in my jammies!

3.) Copy and paste this quiz… Change the answers, ONE word only!!



1-Your cell phone? Pink

2- Your hair? blah

3-Your mother? awesome

4-Your father? best

5-Your favorite food? mexican

6-Your favorite drink? diet dr.pepper

7-Your dream last night? ????

8-Your dream/goal? bakery

9-What room are you in? bedroom

10-Your hobby? lots!!

11-Your fear? many

12-Where do you want to be in 6 years? bakning

13-Where were you last night? home

14-Something that you aren’t? tall

15-Muffin? pumpkin

16-Wish list item? (food) Processor

17-Where did you grow up? OKC

18-Last thing you did? ate

19-What are you wearing? jammies

20-Your TV? loud

21-Your pets? dogs

22-Friends? sweet

23- Your life? blessed

24-Your mood? blah

25-Missing someone? always

26-Vehicle? Edge

27-Something you aren’t wearing? makeup

28-Your favorite store? Target

29-Favorite color? pink

30-When was the last time you laughed? morning

31-Last time you cried? earlier

32-Your best friend? husband

33-One place you go to over and over? work

34-One person who emails you regularly? Brian

35-Favorite place to eat? Alfredo's

About Last Night.....

Ahhhh, Trick or Treat!! I love it! Even though my girls are half grown, they still love to dress up. And being a MiMi makes it even that much more fun!! Tiffany and Jalynn were the cutest mommy and baby bees. Jalynn kept singing "I'm taking home a baby bumble bee" which kept cracking us up!!

Kylee was Minnie Mouse and she totally rocked those ears!! I made those, thank you very much!

Logan was a sheriff and her boyfriend, Martin, was The Count of Sesame Street Fame.

We didn't have as many kids ringing the door bell this year, but then again, there was 2 football games on. If you know anything about Oklahoma, then you know that we LOVE our football. OU and OSU were both playing during prime trick or treat time! So, I gave out candy and B watched football, yelled and cussed at the t.v.! Oklahoma football is an emotional event at our house!

Here are some of my favorite little spooks..

Ashton and Carson (Jalynn's BFFs) were a lady bug and a bug catcher.

Adrianna (daughter of my friend Deeona) was a witch (check out that cool chin and nose!) and Jake (my friend Leslie's little boy) was a monkey. Too cute!

Jalynn needed to hit up one more house. Don't you just love those bumble bee leg warmers?

This bee is all buzzed out!! Hope everyone had as much fun as she did!!

~Denise

Where did the time go?

It's so hard to accept the fact that our children grow up. It's the one thing in their lives that we have absolutly no say so in. There isn't a paper to sign. No permission to give. I don't like it. I knew it would happen, but did it have to happen so fast? Ok, so 16 1/2 years isn't exactly fast, but still! What I'm getting at is my baby is going today to take her driving test. Yes, she is almost 17 but the kid has a busy life and we are just now getting it done. In the state of Oklahoma you can't get your permit until you are 16 if you haven't had drivers' ed, and like I said, she has a busy life and drivers' ed never happened. After you get your permit, you have to wait 6 months to get your actual license. Well, that 6 months is up. To tell you the truth, I'm having a really hard time with this. Is it because she's my baby? Is it because I have a tendency to be a little bit of a control freak? Am I in denial? I don't know, maybe all three! Ok, definitely all 3!! Wish miss Logan luck, and pray for both of us!!!

Prayer needed!

Hey everyone! I have a request.

My Aunt Pat, Uncle Eddie and my cousins Jessica and Mike at Jessica's wedding in August.

My Uncle Eddie has ALS, commonly known as Lou Gerhigs disease. ALS is a devastating disease and my uncle has been suffering with it for a while. After much research, prayer and, I'm sure, lots of tears, my uncle decided (although I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision!) to make the long trip to Germany for stem cell treatment. My Aunt Pat is very supporting of this decision but also a little (OK, alot!) freaked out by what this trip entails! Please pray for them while they are on this adventure and that the treatment is successful. If you want to learn more about their experience check out my aunt's blog. She is quite funny and very informative. Thank you in advance!!!

xoxoxo

Denise

We partied all weekend!

We started the weekend off with my niece, Kelli Linn's 9th birthday party.

I can't believe she is already 9! Man, time just flies by, and you realize it more when you have kids to watch grow up!

I made her some strawberry cupcakes with purple cream cheese frosting and purple cupcakes with hot pink cream cheese frosting.



We painted fingernails and toenails.


They ate and jumped on the moonbounce and ran around like crazy 9 year old girls are known to do!

On Sunday, we had to do it all over again for my grandbaby, Jalynn's 4th birthday! I still can't believe that she is already 4. She was a preemie and started out so little, but she has definitely caught up!!

This is Jalynn and her bestie, Ashton. They share a birthday...Happy birthday, Ashy!!

What do you get when you cross a birthday cake frosted in blue with a very quick shih tsu?

Cali loved that cake!

Yay for FREE!!!

Ever since the first time I went to my in-law's house, I have coveted my mother-in-law's chaise lounge that she had in her bed room. I wanted one sooo bad! I looked everywhere for one that was similar and inexpensive. I looked on Craig's List, Ebay, Goodwill, garage sales and used funiture stores. I never could find one that was similar that I could afford. But guess what? I have the best mother-in-law, EVER!! My father-in-law bought her a new chair and ottomon for her bedroom so she GAVE ME HER CHAISE!!!

She's like an oversized chair and I like that. Perfect for snuggling up with a good book.

Her upolstery is different and I like that.

She goes great with my living room.

And she was free! That's the best part, of course, 'cause I am all about free! The only problem is that my mother-in-law smokes so my little chaise stinks! I had her out on the patio for a couple of days to air out but then it started raining! She gets sprayed with Fabreeze everytime I walk by and this weekend we are going to give her a good shampooing. But until then, I will just sit on the sofa and admire her!!!

Any suggestions on how to get rid of the smoke smell?? Help!

Brian's last meal.....banana cake

My husband LOVES banana cake. In fact, at our wedding we had banana nut cupcakes in addition to our wedding cake and groom's cake! So when my sis-in-law, Tracie, e-mailed me this recipe, I knew I had to try it. Of course, after I tried it I knew that I had to share it with ya'll!!

BANANA PUDDING BUNDT CAKE

Cake:

1 (18.5ounce) yellow cake mix

(3.5 ounce) instant banana pudding

4 eggs

1 C water

1/4 C vegetable oil

3/4 C mashed bananas

Glaze:

2 C powdered sugar

2TBS milk

1 dash vanilla

1/2 C chopped walnuts (I used pecans)

I also added cinnamon 'cuz that's how I roll!

Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour a 10 inch bundt pan. In a large bowl, stir together cake mix and pudding mix. Make a well in the center and pour in eggs, water, oil, and mashed bananas. Beat on low speed until blended. Scrape bowl and beat 4 minutes on medium. Pour batter into pan. Bake for 50-55 minutes, or until cake is tested done. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes then put on a wire cool rack and cool completely. To make glaze: in a small bowl combine powdered sugar, milk and vanilla. Whisk until smooth. When cake has cooled drizzle icing over the cake and add nuts.

This recipe is verrry good and very moist! Just ask my hubby....this is all that is left and I only had one piece!!

Now that one little lone piece is going down the garbage disposal because Brian and I started Weight Watchers today! Now he will have to enjoy his banana cake without the cake!!

Margarita Cupcakes...best eaten on the patio with friends!

A couple of weeks ago I sent out a tweet on Twitter about making some margarita cupcakes for a baby shower that I catered and was asked to post the recipe on my blog by my dear friend The Treat Girl. (I totally just figured out how to do that link thing all by myself! This blog thing is getting easier and easier! Any way...) So this is for you Pam, enjoy!!

Margarita Cupcakes

• 1 box white cake mix


• 8 oz. margarita mix


• 2 oz. tequila


• 1 oz. Grand Marnier


• 3 egg whites


• 2 Tbsp vegetable oil


• 1 Tbsp grated lime zest
  

Lime Buttercream Frosting

• 8 Tbsp butter, softened


• 8 oz. cream cheese, softened


• 2 Tbsp lime juice (aprox. 2 fresh limes)
  
• 1 Tbsp margarita mix


• 1 tsp grated lime zest


• 5 cups powdered sugar


• fresh limes for garnish
  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 and prepare muffin pans


2. Combine margarita mix, tequila, and Grand Marnier in a large glass and stir well.


3. In a large bowl (I use my Kitchen-Aid), combine cake mix, egg whites, lime zest, vegetable oil, and margarita mixture from step one. Stir together, then beat with an electric mixer on low to medium speed for aprox. 2-3 minutes.


4. Spoon the batter into prepared muffin pans. Fill each cup/liner about 2/3 full. ( I personally, use the Saucy Method with an ice cream scoop!)


5. Bake at recommended temperature on cake mix box (usually 325-350) for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. (For my oven it only takes 18 minutes.)
   

Frosting

1. In a large bowl, combine butter, cream cheese, lime juice, margarita mix, and lime zest. Beat with an electric mixer until light and fluffy.


2. Add powdered sugar, one cup at a time and continue beating until smooth. If icing is too thin you can add more powdered sugar one tablespoon at a time.


3. Spread icing generously on each cupcake or use a pastry bag to frost. Garnish with lime wedges.


4. Now, go sit on a patio some where with some girlfriends and enjoy these cupcakes, cause everyone knows that is the best way to enjoy a margarita!!

Happy Birthday Brian!

Today is my sweet husbands birthday. I thank God everyday that He put him in my life. I feel my world is better simply because he is in it! Happy birthday sweet man!!

broken

Don't you hate it when your child's heart is broken and you can't fix it? Broken to a point that, even if common sense tells you otherwise, you are a afraid it has been permanently damaged beyond repair? Every realtionship that we have from the time of birth affects us in one way or another. I believe that we are who we end up being because of our relationships whether they are good or bad. We learn, grow, and become. I know that my girl will recover from this. She will be better because of it. She is growing up and I know in my heart that this is part of that process. But it doesn't change the fact that I hurt for her. My heart is broken right along beside hers. Don't forget, sweet girl, this too shall pass.

Try this sandwich!!

When I was a little girl, my grandma used to make pineapple cream cheese and we would eat it with potato chips. It was the perfect combination of sweet & creamy and salty & crunchy. I absolutly loved this treat, couldn't get enough! So, on "girls day out" with Fredde, when we had lunch at the cafe in The Market at Quail Springs, I ate a sandwich that immediatly reminded me of my sweet Grandma Betty.



They called it The Hawaiian and it was delish! I had to re-create this sammy! And, I have to say, I liked it even better at home! (My grandma would have LOVED it!!!)

You have to start out by making pineapple cream cheese. The already made kind at the store WILL. NOT. DO!! :)




All you need is 8 0z. of softened cream cheese and a 20 oz. can of crushed pineapple, drained. I use my Kitchen-Aid mixer and whip the cream cheese and then add the pineapple. Easy and yummy!! (You HAVE to try this with chips!! I'm not even kidding!!)



Next, toast 2 pieces of bread. They used potato bread, all I had at this time was wheat and it worked, too. I prefer to do this with butter on a griddle instead of a toaster, (you know everything is better with butter, just ask Paula Deen!).



Spread both pieces of bread with your pineapple cream cheese and then layer ham, lettuce, tomato and purple onion. Eat up!!



Now go make this sandwich, you won't regret it!!

Note: I made this again for lunch yesterday and put it on a croissant and it was awesome!

Girls' day out

Friday was a great day. I met my dear friend Fredde (pronounced Freddie) at her house and we headed out. Our first stop was Braum's for a quick breakfast and then off to purchase my sweet husband's birthday present which I can't talk about here because he reads my blog! Then the adventure really got started! Next, we spontaneously stopped at a wholesale market that sells home goods. We got to shop there because Fredde has connections!! Here are a few of the lovelies that I purchsed...

Sweet little fence for my flower bed.....

Darling little flying pig. (I don't know why I needed this, but I did!)

And a planter basket for my front door....

I plan on planting some sweet potato vine in it. It will look great on my black front door, don't ya think?

Next stop, The Market at Quail Springs. I love The Market. It used to be a movie theater and now it houses booth after booth of awesome stuff for your home. Some of it is priced a little high. And some stuff we had just seen at the wholesale market that we had just left!! Fredde bought me this awesome runner,('cause she's sweet like that!). She thought it would work great on my dining room table (which it will, eventually) but I have it on my grandma's antique buffet in my foyer for now. Love it!

While at The Market, we ate in their cafe'. I had their Bistro Salad and The Californian sandwich. Delish!!

I will definitely be copying both of these at home, YUM! And then I will share the recipes with you, 'cuz I'm sweet like that!

We shopped and we ate. This day is definitely going down in the books as a perfect day!!

I don't know what the heck I did, but it worked!!!

It's not PINK , but look what my sweet husband got for me!

Actually, we got his and hers models!

(sorry for the bad pic!!)

I don't know how it happened, but whatever it is worked!!

I have the sweetest husband EVER!!!

What's a girl to do??

The inevitable has happened.....my husband has discovered Facebook! I tried to keep him from finding out about it but we went to his 25 year class reunion and everyone was talking about it! That's how most of the people there found out about the reunion to begin with. Now I can't ever get on the computer because he has to check his Facebook!!! When I decided to start this blog, I swore to myself that this was not going to be another one of THOSE projects. You know, the ones you start and never finish? I am determined to either put a stop to B's relationship with Facebook or somehow convince him that we need a second laptop! We need a second laptop that is PINK! That's right!! That's EXACTLY what we NEED!!! Any suggestions on how I can accomplish this?

Hopefully, this won't be my last blog entry.....wish me luck!!

Meet the Family..Part 5 (the last one, I promise!!)

I would like to introduce you to the youngest member of our family...Jalynn Paige. Jalynn is my grand-daughter. She is almost 4 and, let me tell ya, she is a little spit fire, a total ball of energy! And, I have to say, my favorite person in the world! I could continue to brag on her. I could go on and on (really!) but I'm not going to. Instead I am going to tell you how we almost lost her. Believe me, you will hear about her...ALOT!

A little over a year ago I received the worst phone call ever. Jalynn had been in a terrible car accident and had been rushed to OU medical center. That's all anyone knew. Her mom was at work and so was I. I knew that Tiffany had no business driving so I had her meet me so that I could drive her to the hospital. I had to be the calm one, the strong one. The worst part at this point was not knowing how badly she was hurt or what had happened.

I am going to let her Uncle Vic tell you what happened. He was the driver of the car that Jalynn was riding in. Vic was 19 at the time and I copied this from his blog on Myspace. Please ignore any typos or any other mistakes, Jalynn was still in ICU when he posted this.

"i cant stop thinking about what happened. it replays in my head over and over again and again. me my sister San Juana and my niece were out for a drive when my niece got hungry and wanted a chicken nugget happy meal from Mcdonalds. she was not feeling well so we went through the drive thru. we turned out in to the turn lane at the intersection of s.w. 59 th and penn. ave. she was upset and did not want to be in her car seat. Anyone who has ever had a child has let that child into the front seat just a couple of blocks from home so they would be happy. she climbed up front and gave us the biggest smile. a maroon 1996 chevy tahoe was also in his turn lane to turn east on to s.w. 59th street. We were turnigng west on to 59 th street. the driver of the tahoe decided not to turn and instead floor his gas pedal to go south on penn ave. At 2:11 pm on saturday june 28, 2008 a maroon chevy tahoe sturck a red 1998 mitsubishi eclipse causeing the airbags to deploy with an extreme force causing 2 year old Jalynn Paige to become unconscious. We had not moved 6 inches before we were hit. With my car still sitting in the turn lane I opened my door grabbed jalynn and put her in the grass were she would be safe from more traffic or the car catching fire. she was not breathing at the time i laid her down supporting her head. The driver of the tahoe did not stop at all. he fled the scene and was later arrested at a corner store at 74 th and douglas. No one saw what i did that day. i had to pull my 2 year old niece from my totaled car and beg her to breath. Seeing the burn on the side of her face were the airbag hit her. Seeing her blood on her face. She lied thier in my arms motionless for what seemed like hours. She took a gasp of air and all i could do was keep begging her to do so. Jaylnn was taken to O.U. medical center were she is getting better and will get to go home soon. Everyone keeps telling me and san juana how it wasn't our fault and how it could of happened to any of them. I dont agree with that. they all love her just as much as we do but they only seen her in the hospital begging for her to be okay and fighting for her life. A fight that Jalynn won. I cant stop seeing her lie in my arms lifeless with my tears falling over her begging and praying for her life to return to her body. the moment she began to breath again and let out that first cry of the pain.It killed me to see her that way knowing that she was left in our care when this happened and knowing no matter what i did. This time Jalynn was not going to open her eyes forget what was going on smile at me and say "thanks vic" or " I love you vic". I am sorry for what happened. I LOVE YOU JALYNN. Jalynn will get to go home soon and i cant wait to tell her that i love her and can't wait for her to say it back."

It's been just over a year ago and she doesn't have any scars, no brain damage (she had a brain bleed), and no hearing or sight problems, which were a concern. I am so thankful that she is ok. I praise God everyday that her life was spared. This precious child is such a blessing and my life has been changed because of her.

Lost my mind today

So, when I was writing the post about Logan, I had a specific picture in mind to use. I knew it was on the memory card in the small digital camera that I carry in my purse. I took my memory card down to CVS to transfer my pictures onto a cd. None of these pictures were the one that I was looking for. Dang!! So back home I go. I tore my house apart, people!! Could not find that memory card anywhere. I looked high and low for 2 days....nothing! So, I gave up and published my post with a not so great picture of her and called it a day. Today I had to run home and let my dogs out, walked through my living room and right there on my end table, in the digital frame my mom gave me for Christmas, is that blasted memory card! So, to make me feel better and to really show you how beautiful my girl is, I have to post a better picture of her.



Ahhhh, that's better!! Look at that dimple!