Hello, my name is .......

Hello, my name is Denise and I am a bad blogger!!!  Where have I been, you ask, what have I been doing?  Well, let me tell you.....I have been watching my child overcome a horrible disease, listening to the excitement in her voice when she called to tell me that she had eaten a grilled cheese sandwich AND an order of tator tots from Sonic!  I have been listening to her tell me how much she likes who she is and that she is comfortable with her body!  She even bought a bikini!  You have no idea how happy this makes me.  I thank God everyday for Kylee's health.  I am thankful that she is happy and that she is spending time with her friends and even more important, spending time with her sisters and the rest of the family.  I am truly blessed!

Happy, Happy Happy!!!

You have absolutely no idea how incredibly happy THIS makes me!!!

Update

Hello, everyone! Remember me? I haven't updated my blog lately because Kylee is doing so well and I didn't want to jinx it! Stupid, huh? I'm not even superstitious! Oh well, what can I say?

You wouldn't even believe how well Kylee is doing! She is looking healthy, she is smiling, and her clothes are starting to fit!! Woohoo!!

We fired the therapist. After less than an hour, she told my daughter that her problem is an identity crisis . Of all the people that I have ever known in my life, Kylee is the one most least likely to not know who she is! This kid knows who she is, knows where she's going and knows how she is going to get there! We didn't feel like she was the right fit after the first session, and we were right. She isn't currently seeing a therapist and we are going to play it by ear for now. If we decide that she does need therapy, we have a new friend who is going through the same thing with her daughter and she has given us a good lead on a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.

On a non-eating disorder related note, Kylee made the president's honor roll!!! That's my girl!

dinner & a movie

I can't even begin to tell you how incredibly wonderful this day has been!! Let me start out by telling you that part of anorexia is social isolation. And because of that, Kylee hasn't done anything social with me or her sisters or her friends in a very long time. The last time that she and I did anything, other than go to the grocery store and the doctors office, was in September. We went to the Oklahoma State Fair, the health food store, Target (our favorite!), and to eat at Panda Express. I'm pretty sure that was also the last time she actually ate in public. But, today was different!! Today, Kylee, Logan and I went to THE MOVIE!!! It was the girls' choice and they chose to see The Princess and The Frog. Really cute movie. Then, and this is the BEST part.....we went to eat at Subway!! And Kylee actually ate...in public! She ate her normal sandwich (with cheese!) that she used to get and a bag of Sun Chips!! It was a normal lunch with two of my daughters! I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am right now! I know that this won't happen everyday, but I am thankful that it happened today. Kylee has come so far!! I can't even express in words how happy I am right n0w. Please pray that there are lots of days like this one ahead of us and that they aren't few and far between!

~Denise

good days and bad

We've been having some good days (thank God!)! I love it when Kylee has a good day. That usually means that I will have a good day. Her positive additude the past few days has been very encouraging. I know that throughout her recovery, there will be ups and downs. I'm thankful for both. Why? you ask. Well, the good days for obvious reasons and the bad days to learn from. I think every day offers a lesson of some sort. And the bad days will give us something to look back on and figure out what went wrong, what brought it on, what were you thinking, why? If we can just answer those questions and hang onto the answers, maybe next time those feelings, or whatever, come along we will know how to deal, what to do, say, think. So, yep, I'm thankful for those bad days but praying for more days like today!

3 steps back

Today I went to the doctor with Kylee for a checkup. When we went back, I told the nurse that Kylee did NOT want to know her weight. So, she turned around backwards on the scale, the nurse wrote down her weight, and all was good. We went to the exam room and the nurse took her temperature and blood pressure. I asked about her blood pressure, which was still low but the same as last time, and then the nurse told her that she had gained 2 pounds. Dangit! She has anorexia, she knows how much she weighed last time we were there! Why, why, why??!!?? I could just see her confidence of the last few days start to diminish. I tried to explain that this was a good thing. Of course, part of her brain knows this, the part that is Kylee. But the other part of her brain, the ED part, had her in a puddle of tears. Those 2 stupid (wonderful!) pounds had ripped away all of the good mood and positive-ness that had been the Kylee of the past weekend. It truly pissed me off! But I have to remember that there will be days like this. I just have to accept it. Even if I don't want to. And I DON'T want to!

therapy and enchiladas

Wednesday night I went with Kylee to her first therapy session. It was really just a "get to know you" type of meeting. To tell you the truth, I'm just not sure if this is the right fit for us, but I guess we should give it a chance before we make any assumptions. She goes back next week by herself so I guess we will just have to wait and see.

After therapy Brian and I went out to eat Mexican food, my favorite! Kylee actually wanted us to bring her a children's enchilada dinner! I was more than excited! And she ate it, every last bite! You can read about it here. Of course, after that 2 steps forward day we a 3 steps back one. But that's to be expected. That's how recovery goes. I'm prepared for that and I am looking forward to when the steps forward outnumber the steps back. I know it won't happen over night, this thing didn't manifest over night, but it WILL happen.